Hello. It's been a while. How are you? Don't answer now. I feel like I owe you an explanation before we can get back to where we were again. I don't know where to start. I don't want you to think I only need you when I'm down. But I do only need you when I'm down. Why's that that big of a problem? There are people that are NEVER needed. At least you are needed and oh you are so needed when I need you :( being needed that much shouldn't be legal. Sometimes I can't bear how much I need you it's so much so much much much so much so MUCH I can feel my blood flow on my head it's flowing so much because in this moment I unbearably love you so much I can feel my blood flowing so fast with excitement it's too much mu.much so much my blood lost its energy it can't run no more it stops it all stops on the exact same spot on this thin twinkling tiny vein I know it's gonna explode I'm gonna cease to exist we're gonna cease to be. No. No! No no no. WHAT NO. How can one die with so much love inside. I am made of love. It's blove that runs through my veins. ̢̧̨̡̡̧̧̢̨̡̧̢̡̢̡̧̢̨̧̢̨̨̨̡̡̛̛͚͙̞̱̹̤̲̰̝̲̝͎̳̳͚̥̣̯̭̼̼͓̱̰̤͎̪̟̯͓̻͍̹̱̲̞̱̗͕̲͈̰͕̮̗̞͖͙̫͈̮̪̫̣̙͚̣̖̣̫͕͖̹̠̞̩͙̳̪̥̙̤̰̣͎̜͈͍̟͈̲̣̹͕̹̜̦̱͇͍̬̝̥̝̹̦̗̩̖̣̼̩̭̰͍̻͈͇͈͇̻̬̳̯̭̰̙̟̝̺̞̘̻͚͍͚̙̼͙̥̩̣̺̰̳̪͚̻̰̘̙̜̳̠̭͙͙̝͕̦͎̰͓̩̗̰͕̯̲̖̮͙͓̼̫͎̰̤̬̼̥̥̪̲̖͕͉̗̭̪̖͕̗̻̪̭͎͖̠̞͙̞̮̞͉̳͎͔͎͍̖̯̜͚͎͙̼̩͚͎͉͙͔̦̤̥̗̬̱̮͙̥̦͚̲̭̭̬̱̲̦̥̘͔̺̱̮̲͙̠̺̞̝̺͚͚̫̼̗̪̤͓͓̥̹̗͍͒͊̈́͛̈͆̅̀̓́͒͂̑̔́̾͋́̇̒͛̃͘̕͜͜͜͜͜ͅͅͅͅͅͅͅ.̵̡̢̢̡̡̧̡̧̧̧̡̡̧̧̨̡̡̢̢̡̖̙̦͓̯̹̳̗͎͔͉̙̯̠͔̤̩͎̤͇̣̖̠̪̥̤͚̩̬̝̯̼̟̩̲̘̯̫̣̱̜̯̦͍̬̬̺̙̮̩̺̰̯̪̻͓̬̬̹̜̳͉̦̠͕͙̘̺͎̙̯̗̮̹͕̟͔͔̭̤̥̫̝̖̻͓͉̹̩̱͉̭͉̖̬̬͓̠̥̮̤̤̲̱̱̮̬͈̮̩̱̠̯̗̥͎̰̜̤̹͕̯̬̜̯͉͔̲͔̥̺̠͙̳̤̬͇̼̫̱̬̖̭̠̯̱̗͙̼̩̹̪̤̦̖͚͓̘̲̻̬̫͙͙̙̳͉̝̖̪̻̟̜̙̻̭͙̜̭̮̭͕͙̹̬͓̩̜͙̤̟̱̭͈̪͍͙̭̙͓̭̮̮̼̳͉͚̝̬̲͖̘̥̻̲̩̮̗̠̩̤̮͍̬̘̱̭̩̙̯̪̟̰̻̓͋̎͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͝ͅ.̸̢̡̡̧̨̡̡̢̧̨̡̡̡̧̧̛̛̛̛̛̮̖̪̱͖͕̞̬̪̟̻̠̝̤͈͓̠͚̱̠̹͈͎͎͈͎͔̘͖̯̠̞̩̭͙͈̪̦̤̬̲̺̺̗͕̱͖̹̮̰̲̞̬̳̻͇̘͙͍̟͈͚̥̳͇̠̤̙̩̝̙̭͍̗͔͍͉̼̤̔̾͌̌̍́͛͐͑̀̂̊͐͒̅̃́͐͆̉̐̀͑͂̿͛͗̂̐̓͋̄̈́̓̊́̈́͛́̀̀̆͌͂͌̎̈́̐̐́̾̋̉͂̍́̉͋̋̈́͊͛̓̔̒̆̇͒̄̔̆͊͐̇̊̑̉̃̃̇̈̕͘̚͘̚͜͜͜͜͝͠͠͝͝͝ͅ.̸̨̡̢̢̨̡̛̛̛̛̛̛̛̛̹̻̙͈̹̬͓̦̠̭̹͉̠̬͙̗̎̄̉̐͊͌́͂̌͒̀̈́͛̋̒͐̅̄͒̈́͗́͊̓͒̍͐̈́̀͑̈́̆̆̈́̂̅̎̆͂̅̽̍̑̓͋͑̀̈́̾̀̎͌̏̅̓͒̃̾̑̄̀̓̍̒̐̓̀͑̑̌͌͗̀͊̉͑̐̄͐̓́̌̍̈́̏̋̐̈̍̈̄̀͗́̓̆́͊̂͌̌̐̃̂̒̆͂̀́͗͒̿̒̏́̔͑̒̉̀̊̓͒̄͌̊̏̌̌̈́͛̋͐͛̅̎̐̅͋̉̑̅̊̈́̋͒͒͛͐͗͛̓̌̐̅̊̀̅͌͑́̃̔͊̓͌̓̿̐̑̎͆̐̊͗̆̈́́͆̈́̇̏́̅̊͌̊́̎̆̔͐͆̔̄̐̓̽́̈̃̕̕̕͘͘͘̕̕̚͘̕̕͘͘̕̚̕̕͝͠͝͝͝͝͠͠͝͝͝.̶̢̡̡̡̡̧̧̨̢̢̧̧̢̢̛̛̛̛̛̛̛͔̝͎̤͚͍̟̙̰͔͙̗̯͈͔͎̭͇̼̭̘͕͍͉̥͙͕͍͖͙̝̗̝̥̖̫̫̺̥͕̬̻͖̦̯̪͕͖̯͈̩͕͇̣̙͕̻͇͔̝̟̗͕̰̭̺̫̲͓̜͉̼̻͖̮̦̭̇̃̄͂̅͌͆̓̈́̾͂͛̆̑͊̃̈́́̽̇͗̈̍̒̅͂͌̈͐̊̈̑̊̊̓̈́̔̉̍̈̊̀̔͂̽̓̓̓̆͒͑̀̉͑̀̓̐̊̅͒̂̿̿̉̃̈́̓̎̋͋̒̿̿͒̉̍̊̇̃̀̿̅̔̑̋͆̔̇̏̓̈́̔͂͌̎̉̀͌̀̏̐̆͋́̒̏̀̑̽̆̋̀͗̏͛̒̀́̓́̍́̓̎̀͊̈̃̎̈́̌͌͒̎̾̀̃͂̒͒̉̎̏̈́͐̏́͐̂̾̓͊̽̓͆͋̈́͋͊̿̒̀̾͛̔̌̇͒̐́̀̃͋̔̎͐̎̄̍̂͐̾̏̅͗̍̾͛͐͌͌̌̽̽̾̅̍̿̉͑̊́̀͐̋̅̈́͌̀͐͆̑̒͑̾̏̉̀̊̈́͂͌̑̉̈́̀̾̏̍̈́̾̏̈́́̑̎̈́͊̐͆̽͆͘̕̕̚̕̕̚͘̕͘̕̚̚͝͠͝͠͝͠͝͠͠͝͝͠͝͠͝͝͝͠͝͠͝͝ͅͅ.̶̢̧̡̨̨̡̢̡̢̧̧̢̨̢̡̢̡̡̡̧̢̘͙͖̞̬̬̯͖̤̼͙͎̞̳̭̝̯͓̻̠̰͎͖̗̣̫̝̼̹̪̱̘̦̞̹̹̥̦̯̜͔̙̼͙͖̫̘͙̜͔̻̳̪͕͔͔̝̫̘̞̬̭̘̳̜̫̰̣̙̟̭̳͙̘̪̱̭͈̦̫͖͈̩̤̘͔̫̰̤͎͉̬̗̼̲͚͇̗̲̖̲̟̤̱̪̜̥̮͔͕͓̯̬̥̗͎̙͔͎̞͖͇̻̠̲͙̫͇̩͔̙̖̺̻͕͓͇̺̦̭̲̼̰̦͕̥̖̯̭̘͍͎̗̫̜̘͈̞̯̳͍̙̜̬̹͉̭͉̜͙̥͎̤̜̳̗͖̜͔̥̦̝̪̼͚͖̪̜̻̤̮̦͕̥̺͇̬͇̜̪͉̘̦̠̥̘̗̳̣̟̳̩̣̥͇̰͈͎͓͕̻̱͍̘͍̱͉̞͔͉̝̔̂̔̄̿̈́̆̆̐̃̍͒͑̈̌͐̇̇͒̏͆̈́̇̈́̿͂̈́̉͘̕͘̕͜͜͜͜͜͜͠͝͝͝͝ͅͅͅͅͅͅ.̴̡̛̛̛̛̛̛̛̙̎̒̍̈́̋́̃̈̄͐̃̓̑̈̆̓͆̅͗͛͂͛̄̀́̄̑͂͗͑̏͛͊̀̽̅̒̇̊͋͑̐̐̒̈̈́͑̓͆̆̄͛̀̋̾̄̒̉̒͌̿̌̆̃͑̑͋̿͂̂͗̔̈́͋̈̒͂͋́̀̈́͗̑̈́͊̌̌́́̿̀̔̏̂͌͊̎̀̆͂͑͂́̍͒̌̆̓̽̾̈́̿͑̃̆̃̈́͂͛͌͌̀̿͋͐̍̀͊͗̔̏̿͆͌̔̂̾̀͒̀̄̉̌̀̓̒͐̑̆̓̓̈́̈̾̾͗͛̄́͒̄̏̑̿̏̿͑̈̉̀̑͂̌͐͂̉̓͐̇̉̑̈́͐͛̓̃͑̂͐̑͗́͆̊͐̿͗̃͌̐̄͆͐̔͋̿̇͑̆̈̿̈́͐̓̊̓͑̀̐̍̑͂̓̂̋͆̽͑̋̔̉̅̈́̈͊́͐̿̑͗͛̿͘̚͘̚͘̕̕͘̕̚̕̕̕̕͘̕̕̕͘͝͝͠͝͠͝͝͝͝͠͠͝͝ͅ.̸̧̢̢̨̨̨̧̡̧̨̢̨̢̨̧̧̨̢̢̨̡̨̛̛̳̝̱̝̲͚̙̺̩͈̻̫̘̹̻̤̟̠̗͎̥̳̝̦̰̬̙̣̜͎̯̮̠̝̲̜̙͈͖̦̝̤̖͇̼̯͎͔̝͔͔̜̼͎̜̙̳̻̟̮͚̞͕̖͚̬͖̺̣̹͇̮̮̫͍̖̻̗̬̤̭͍̺̙͚̻̦̺̝̯̤̦̘̮̰̲̣̖̲̻͎̖̰͓̬̘͎̦́̒̇͌̈̂̔͛̔͌̿͆̾͒͂̋̽̾̉̽͂̓́̔͋͂͌́̋̑̊̏̓͋͌͋̓̑̾̿̎̇̃͂̈̆̊̍̓͑̑̃̍̈́̓̀̿̌̉̀̀͆̾̂̑́̅̔̈͊͌͑̾̑͑̿̃͛̄͛́̍͒̏̓̿̏̓̄̂́̾̐̂͗̔͒͒̏͊͒̀͊̈́͂̒͛̉̽͛̾͐̉͛͆̽͗̒̎̀̓̓̇̀́͑̑̇́̔̇̓͆͂̊͛̽̀̓̿̆͌͗̅̽̚͘̚̕̚͘̚͘͘͘͘͘̕̕̚͜͜͜͜͜͝͠͠͝͝͝͝͝͝͝͠͝͠͝͠͝͝͝͠͝͠͝ͅͅͅͅ.̴̧̢̢̧̨̨̨̨̧̯̳̗͈̟̙̖̦͍͎̬͉̺͉̦͓̯͕͇̖̫͕͙̪͉̫̗͉̼͇͈̞̥̞̺͇͈̹̲͈̼̤̮̭̖̣͖̹̮̣̥͚̻̖͕͇̘̰̮̝͔̯̪̗̭̜̞̠̭͔̪̘͙̙̞̯̣̬̹͔̟͍̳̝͔̖̫̭͙̖̙͈̤̗̮̻͚́͑͊̌̈́̈́́̆͆̉́̒̆̍̍͂̽̈́̌͐͂́̑̍̀̄̄̋̒͋͐̓̌͊̓̋̓͒̑͆̿͒̔̓̾̍̑̃̀̀̒̌̕͘̚̚͘̕͜͝͠ͅ.̵̡̡̡̢̢̢̧̛̛̛̛̛̛͉͔̜͈͓͙̩͉̖̹̖̼͇̹̮̲͖̖͍͈̝̩̟͈͎͙̩̙̙̖̝͚͚̯̙̯͍̭̭̱͉͎̘̥̰͎̯̖̼̩͇̭̹̲̭͙̬̝̩̞̼̫̜̞͚̱̳̯̯̳͖̠̣̪̖͙̤̬̜̳͎̺̤̘̬̖̰̪͓̩͉̱̣͉͓͙̻̖̺͚͓̩͔̼̥͇͚͎͖̺͇̤̻̥̤̗̳̻͓͇̗͇͉͚̋͗̍͑̾̎̀̋́͆́̃̄͒̈̉̀͛̈́͂̄͂̓͑̋̽͆̎̅̾̃͆͊̽̃͑͛̊̎̓̾͑͌̇͂̃̌̾̐͗̎͆̏͗̑̐͌̓̅́̔́̈́̌̒̿͛͂͊̈́̀͗̃̀̉́̋͂̾́̊̿͛̂͗͂̓̆̑́̋̈́̏̂̈͛̉͑͛̈́̀̎́̍̒̊̿̿̈́̒̇́̉́̓̃̒̄̍̂̀̌̀͋̾̽̀͌̑̈́̑̈́̌̅̏̋̽̽̅͆̑̇̄̔̃̂͌̓͐̆̆̓̂͊͑͋̾̑̐̎͗̆̈͊̆̆̇͑͐̊̓̐́̄̈̈́̊͐̆̂͛̔͌͂̋̓̈̇͆̎̋̅̀̇̊̀̃̂́̽̍̅͑̌̆̀̑́̎̾̓̆̆̽̈͛̓̓̈́͛̉͛̓͛̏̉͗͘͘̕̕̚̕̕̚̕͘̕͘̕̕͘͘̚̕̚̚̚͜͜͜͜͜͝͠͝͝͝͠͝͠͝͝͝͠͠͠͝͠͝͠͝ͅͅ.̴̢̧̨̨̡̨̧̢̨̛̛̗͍͔̙̣̹̖͇̺̦̬̫̝̤̜̜͚͉̬̩̹̤̘̠͖͕̤̪̰̹̼̪̻͈̲̳͇͈̯̘͉̲̖̝͙̺͇͍͕̯̻̹̖̳̫͖̼̩̮͖̤̺̭̙̪͔̥̰̱̞̗̤̹̟̖̫̦͍̳̪͔̤͚̩̳͈̖̯̞̖͍̤̣̩͔̠͍̻̊͆̆͆͋̃̍̀̾̀͊̔̍̃̓͋͊̀̓̎͆̌̇̒̈́͂̏̇̅͋̅͗̈͒̉̈́̀̏̆̉̈́̀̊̅̐̍̆̐̅͒́̈́̈́́̈́͆͐́͋͋͂̇̒̽̄̽̽̄̀̃̏͒̏̿͊̏͊̊̈̏̈́̽̔͗͒̌́̒̈́̚̕͘͘̚͘͘͜͜͜͜͝͝͝͝͠͝͝͠͝ͅͅ.̶̢̧̨̢̧̢̢̡̧̢̢̧̢̨̡̧̨̢̨̨̨͓̼̰̮͙̫̰̮͖̞͉̞̲̩̥͕̫̲̣̞̳̗͎͈̜̠̰̹̩͎̦̳͕̱̟̖̮͇̙̭̗̞͈͕͙͎̺̮͍̪̗̩͉̬͍̻͓̳̦̖̯̣̫̲̜͕͇̹̝̞̘̻̥͈̟͍͙͍̣͓͖͎̬̠͈̬̼̬̠͕̯̺̼̺͚̹̟̰̮̬̥̟͚̻͕̣̘̬̬̝̩̤̥̱̞̠͈̼̻̹͉̪̱̜̦͎̖̪͓̳̩̞͚̳̥̫̩̱̹̳͔̰̰͎̳̳̮̭͇̙̫̰͕̘̺̪̩̳̙̳̹̤̦̠̭̭̯͇̳̹̺͎̯̹̻̩̜̣̗̫͉͚̀͂̾̕͜͜͜͜ͅͅͅ i need you so much I could....... never die. I'm going off on a tangent now. I get lost with you. I find myself when you're gone. This kind of love is not conventional. It's the kind of love that makes me question if it really is love. I don't see this love represented anywhere. I don't see it on my favorite movies. I don't see it on my favorite songs. But still I feel it in every cell of my body. I love you but I don't like you. You're not the right person to me, but I want you. I want to be with you when I'm away, but I crave for distance when you are around. You treat me so right it scares me. Everything feels so good. Something's wrong. But is it? Shouldn't the fact that I can't explain why I love you mean that my love for you is so deep and so abstract and so big, SO BIG, that there are no words that can describe it?
I will say goodbye soon but know that I loved you so many times.